Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts

Friday, May 1, 2009

... his name was Kirby Kyle

Radio Days -- Woody Allen's 1987 tribute to, well, the radio days of the 1940s -- is more a nostalgia piece than a great film*.

*Although it does feature a quick early appearance from one Larry David, who is -- what else? -- yelling.

But that doesn't keep it from offering one of my all-time favorite bits.

The scene: A blustery sports broadcaster, telling a tale on his nightly show (listen to the audio clip here).


"Today's story ... is about a baseball player. His name was Kirby Kyle, a lean southpaw from Tennessee. He played for the old St. Louis Cardinals. He threw fast and he had a good curveball, and all the hitters knew it.

"He was a kid with a great future. But one day, he went hunting. He loved to hunt, just like his father and his father's father.

"Chasing a rabbit, he stumbled, and his rifle went off. The bullet entered his leg. Two days later it was amputated.

"They said he would never pitch again. But the next season he was back. He had one leg, but he had something more important: He had heart.


"The following winter another accident cost Kirby Kyle an arm -- fortunately not his pitching arm. He had one leg and one arm, but more than that, he had heart.



"The next winter, going after a duck, his gun misfired. He was ... blind. But he had instinct as to were to throw the baseball. Instinct ... and heart.


"The following year, Kirby Kyle was run over by a truck and killed. The following season, he won 18 games ... in the Big League in the Sky."

Honestly, I don't know why baseball's stat geeks set doesn't quote this one over and over and over and over ... Kirby Kyle might have begun as a parody of real-life player Monty Stratton, but today he means so much more.

He had heart.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Complaint of the day

From one of the all-time great comedies:


"I don't believe this. I'd like to see a movie but there's nothing out there. It's all this shoot-'em-up, action bulls--- ... "

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wondering ...


"What's my motivation?"

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Happy Pesach!

I am not Jewish. But I do know, shall we say, a person or two who happens to be.

I also know a thing or two about Passover, thanks in part* to Woody Allen's brief metamorphosis during Take the Money and Run.

*It's a very small part.

The scene: Woody (as Virgil Starkwell) is a petty thief stuck in prison, until he is offered a way out: Serve as a test subject for an experimental vaccine.

NARRATOR: With parole as inducement, Virgil submits to the vaccine test. It is a success, except for one temporary side effect: For several hours, he is turned into a rabbi.


"And so ... the reason we celebrate the Passover holidays by eating matzo, is to commemorate the time that Moses led the children of Israel from Egypt."

Monday, March 30, 2009

Brag of the evening

Whenever you want to impress someone, tell them this. (Just make sure to take out the "probably.")


"My brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make my name live beyond eternity."

Friday, March 27, 2009

Question of the Day

If you know what he means, you know what he means ...


"Whaddaya need that for, Dude?"

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Complaint of the (Work) Day

Sometimes, things just get so busy.


"Workworkwork workworkwork ... "

Monday, March 23, 2009

Quote of the Monday

Ya know, in case someone at your office has diagnosed any nasty cases of the Mondays:


"I believe you'd get your a** kicked sayin' something like that, man."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Exchange of the *Insert Time Period Here*

Someday, I'll do a full post on Double Indemnity -- one of the best pre-rating system films, period.

For now, let's just celebrate one of the best on-screen couples: Fred MacMurray's Walter Neff and Edward G. Robinson's Barton Keyes. It's not quite bromance. But it's still pretty touching.


Keyes: Closer than that, Walter

Neff: I love you, too.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Quote of the *Insert Time Period Here*

They say I'm full of movie quotes.

They also say that ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin' it on.

So why not a new gimmick?

(Crickets.)

Since I hear no objections, this is happening. Introducing the first-annual inaugural debut edition of the oh-so-original Quote of the *Insert Time Period Here*!

It might not be the most original one out there, but there's a lot of hidden meaning in it. I think it's Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken.


"That. Just. Happened."