The Curious Career of Nicolas Cage

Ah, what do I know?


This was supposed to be a post questioning why Nicolas Cage still gets hired to play smart guys or action heroes or both in big movies. But apparently people still watch his flicks. So, again, what do I know?

This: It doesn't work. Not in terms of, like, making good movies. Sure, everyone does bad ones. But when they hire Vin Diesel for the Fast and the Furious remake (now with ampersand; articles not included), you go: "Yeah, sounds about right." Cage, though -- he just fits badly in bad movies. And it's not like this idea is new. It's been going on since at least, like, 1997*.

*Con Air actually owns, despite Cage's awful accent. "Or as they say in Ebonics, 'We be f*****.'"

Now, we could further rail on Cage, complaining about why the actor makes such choices. But that would be like badgering baseball players for saying "yes" to the multimillion-dollar contracts offered by billionaire owners. Nope, not gonna happen. Not here.

Instead, we'll just offer yet another string of "whywhywhy?" -- as in, why does Cage keep getting these roles? It hurts to watch. Mostly it hurts because there's a place (there's a place) where Cage can go (where Cage can go) to find perfect roles for his persona.

Cage did, in fact, flat-out nail the lead roles in three of The Film Official's all-time favorites:



(Pretty much NSFW...)


(Most def NSFW...)